And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
