I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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