Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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