I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
are you so shy because you have an std?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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