Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
