Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
