Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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