i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
