Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
