New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
