I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
