plz talk dirty to me
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
