Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
