need another drink. this is the easiest way
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
