Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My dick has a subreddit
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
