Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
