I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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