I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
