But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
