I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
