we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
