So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
