I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
