You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
