I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
