I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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