is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
