Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
