I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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