the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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