I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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