i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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