You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
