I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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