Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
do herpes really smell.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
