I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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