Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
