call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
