Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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