Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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