when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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