don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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