Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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