She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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