I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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