remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
