i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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