how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
