Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
