So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
